Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Chapter 1 continued...

I'm not quite sure how I'm going to do at this baby-making thing.  For one, I am totally paranoid that my crusty 37..almost 38 year old eggs, aren't up for the journey.  I just keep thinking how ironic it would be that, after bringing 3 beautiful babies into the world for people who weren't able to carry children of their own, that I would now have the same issue.  Secondly, I am not the most patient person in the world when it comes to these types of issues.  I mean, I have done 5 rounds of IVF during my surrogacy years, and it's pretty cut and have the embryos implanted, and then about 5 to 7 days later, you start peeing on a stick, and hopefully get to see a big freaking +.  Then about a a week later, you head to the Dr's office for a blood draw to tell you what your numbers are (this would be your quantitative HCG test to tell you if you are pregnant...number over 25 means yes, you are pregnant).  Then you go back in 2 days later for another (to tell you if your numbers are doubling like they should, which indicates yes, you are pregnant).  All of this is referred to as the 2 week wait.  Then in about 2 more weeks, you go in for an ultrasound and get a peek at the little one. 

Well, needless to say, I thought all of that was hard, but now that I am trying for a little one of my own, I am going out of my mind already.  I mean, I am only in the "you should be fertile now" phase, and dealing with all the logistics that I referred to in my last post, and my schedule, and the stress of will I get to be on call one night, and what if we miss my most fertile day, ect., and I am already going bonkers!!!!  I know that the Lord has a plan for us, baby or no baby, and I know it will all happen in his time, not mine, and I am trying really hard to leave it to him, but if you know me at all, you know how much of a planner I am, and how I don't do very well if I'm not in control of the situation. 

But for now, I guess, I am just in for a whole new week wait.  Sigh.

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