Family

We had family in this past weekend, and it was amazing! I got to meet my niece, Elizabeth, for the first time....

And I got to see my brother and sister-in-law, and grandmother...who I haven't seen in 3 years!

And to see my cousins that I haven't seen since 2004!

We had an awesome time, and hope it's not quite so long before we see everyone again!

Here's a the Carnes Clan...

Mike, Rachel, and Elizabeth...

My grandma and the great-grandkids....

And a couple more of "E"...the best baby in the world!

I love you all!

Waiting, waiting.....

Seems like that is all I'm doing these days.  Waiting to ovulate, waiting to pee on a stick, waiting for my period, and then doing it all over again.  Waiting is not something I'm very good at....guess God is trying to teach me patience.  We heard some cuts are coming at work....hopefully not bedside nursing positions, but it is a bit stressful, and I guess it would be nice to know I still have a job before I get knocked up.  Off for more waiting.

Not this month.....

two months down, and not pregnant yet.  Guess I win that bet....Chad said we'd be pregnant in 2 months....well, not so much.  And I'm not sure I like this trying to get pregnant thing....I'm not certain I have the patience for it.  Oh well, someone else is in charge here, and it's not me.  Not sure I like that, but we all know the saying about telling God your plans, right? 

Oh well, onto another month.

Well, May was not our month...

No need for peeing on a stick this go-round.  My period showed when I was on my trip to Texas to pickup Kayla...and it was several days early...fun, fun!  Oh well, on to June.  I think I've decided that my tentative plan is to try for 3 months without an ovulation predictor kit, then 3 months with, and if still no luck, on to see my Ob-gyn for the devil drug Clomind.  I am scared of trying Clomid because I work on a high-risk maternity unit, and I have seen first hand what it can do...twins and more, so it kinda freaks me the heck out, but we'll do what we need to do I guess.  So onto more baby making I guess!

Chapter 1 continued...

I'm not quite sure how I'm going to do at this baby-making thing.  For one, I am totally paranoid that my crusty 37..almost 38 year old eggs, aren't up for the journey.  I just keep thinking how ironic it would be that, after bringing 3 beautiful babies into the world for people who weren't able to carry children of their own, that I would now have the same issue.  Secondly, I am not the most patient person in the world when it comes to these types of issues.  I mean, I have done 5 rounds of IVF during my surrogacy years, and it's pretty cut and dry....you have the embryos implanted, and then about 5 to 7 days later, you start peeing on a stick, and hopefully get to see a big freaking +.  Then about a a week later, you head to the Dr's office for a blood draw to tell you what your numbers are (this would be your quantitative HCG test to tell you if you are pregnant...number over 25 means yes, you are pregnant).  Then you go back in 2 days later for another (to tell you if your numbers are doubling like they should, which indicates yes, you are pregnant).  All of this is referred to as the 2 week wait.  Then in about 2 more weeks, you go in for an ultrasound and get a peek at the little one. 

Well, needless to say, I thought all of that was hard, but now that I am trying for a little one of my own, I am going out of my mind already.  I mean, I am only in the "you should be fertile now" phase, and dealing with all the logistics that I referred to in my last post, and my schedule, and the stress of will I get to be on call one night, and what if we miss my most fertile day, ect., and I am already going bonkers!!!!  I know that the Lord has a plan for us, baby or no baby, and I know it will all happen in his time, not mine, and I am trying really hard to leave it to him, but if you know me at all, you know how much of a planner I am, and how I don't do very well if I'm not in control of the situation. 

But for now, I guess, I am just in for a whole new week wait.  Sigh.

Adventures in Babymaking Chapter 1....

Wow, long gone are they days when you decide you want to have a baby and you just get busy making one.  When you work nights like I do, and leave the house at 5:30pm, and don't get home until 8:30am, and your husband leaves the house at 6am, and gets home at 6pm, you can't even call it ships passing in the night (unless you count waving at each other on the highway).  I have a feeling that it is going to require planning equal to a top secret mission in order for us to get all the logistics right to be at the same place, at the same time, during the "right" time in order for us to be successful!  And there are so many "rules" that I never did when I was having babies when I was younger...no caffeine, no hot baths, no hot dogs, blah, blah, blah.  It is going to be very interesting to see how well I function on a 12 hour shift with no caffeine!  Let's just hope it's still as easy as it was all those years ago when all I had to do was think about getting pregnant...or not think about considering 2 of the 3 were "oops" babies....although I have a feeling my dusty, old eggs might have something to say about that!